I Found
by Varmint
Summary: I found love where it wasn't supposed to be... Right in front of me. / Asuma does something he knows he'll regret. Kiba deserved better. He deserves better... But Asuma is weak and cannot stop himself anymore. / One-shot! Angst and fluff! Feels ahead!


**Once more, music has influenced me to make a one-shot! This one was inspired by Amber Run's _'I Found'._ Check it out if you want to go on a feels train. Heck, check out their music. It's beautiful.**

 **Anyway, on with the story!**

I found love where it wasn't supposed to be... Right in front of me.

It sounds so sick admitting to it. But there's nothing else I can say. I can't lie to myself. This is the truth.

I found love in a child. One of my student's friends. Kiba Inuzuka.

I should have known better than to act on my feelings. But I had. And this is where I found myself now, with the boy cradled in my arms, satisfied and defiled. He was content, I knew. He was happy that I had been his first. Happy that I had taken the one thing no one should ever take through trickery and deceit... Like I had...

Really, I truly loved this boy.

That was the problem. He was just a boy! How could I do this to him?

There was knocking on my door. I heard it. But I ignored it. I was too busy worrying over what I had just done to this young boy to try and get up from the bed. I didn't want to risk waking him up by moving out from underneath him.

He had been so eager to make me happy. So eager to make me feel good. So eager to _feel good_ in return.

He was so young... How could I have allowed this to happen?

A moment of weakness. One that was something I had never experienced before. That's what had happened. I had been weak and a fool and had allowed my feelings and passions to overrun my logic and reason.

This loss of control meant that I now found myself with the boy in my arms, rested against my chest, a soft smile making him look as beautiful as I had known he truly was. He was only thirteen, for Kami's sake! How could I possibly have done this to him!? How could I have allowed myself such superficial pleasures?!

He would be ruined for the rest of his life. He'd think that love only came from sex, the way I had unknowingly shown him. He'd believe that he would have to give his body before he gave his mind, that the only true route to actual love was paved through bodily pleasures. He was young and had yet to experience any true heartbreak other than his father leaving him... Yet I had shattered that ignorant protection he once had and left it in ruins. Now all he would find from love would be pain.

"Asuma! It's Kurenai! I know you're in there! Please open the door! We need to talk about things, about _us_!"

The woman's shouting didn't help my stormy thoughts in any manner.

Glancing up from the angelic boy, I found that my bedroom door had not been touched. It was still closed. Just like my windows. And I didn't need to have any kekkai genkkai to see that my apartment's door was closed as well. Even if Kurenai may really want to talk to me, she would never violate my trust by breaking into my home. She was much too respectful and sympathetic for that.

Respectful and sympathetic... Words I clearly didn't know how to be.

It was still early. Barely any sunlight filtered in through the blinds of the window to my left and over my bed. But the small amount that did come in was very light, dusting the room in a subtle glow.

Some of it managed to light up some of Kiba's face... And it took my breath away.

"Asuma, please! We can't just leave everything like this! We _have_ to talk!"

Kurenai's voice was muffled and if I concentrated enough, I could ignore it. But I knew that Kiba had exceptional hearing and he would eventually begin to hear the woman's words. And that was the last thing that I truly needed. For him to hear about my horrible track record with actual relationships. About the horrible relationship I had managed to drag Kurenai through.

The Inuzuka shifted slightly in my arms with a mumble that sounded a lot like 'My Asuma...'. Then he moved so he was resting on his side, cheek resting in the crook between my neck and shoulders, breathing warm and soft against my skin. It made me break out into slight goosebumps, sending a shiver down my spine.

He was so warm and trusting. How could I have violated _his_ trust?

" _Please!_ "

She sounded desperate. But I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to have to start this day. Not after what I had done.

The boy's mumbles began to get less coherent as he shifted and twisted more, clearly returning to the world of consciousness. My arms tightened around his waist, and I couldn't stop myself from craning my neck kissing his naked shoulder. There was one love mark in the very center of his collarbone, a mark that proved how much control I had lost the past night.

I had never left a mark on Kurenai's body throughout our whole time together. Yet on my first night with this boy, I had made _sure_ to let others know who had taken him.

Our bodies were underneath my soft, dark sheets, up to my waist. I had sat myself up against my bed's headboard after I had finished defiling the boy with him nestled against me. Right before he had fallen asleep, I had managed to slide his shorts onto his legs and a pair of pajama pants over my own. He hadn't minded being naked the past night. But I didn't know how he would wake up. How he would feel when he found out how I had abused of his trust.

Truly, I loved him. My heart skipped beats whenever I saw him smile. I felt the need to smile whenever he was around. And I wanted to give him everything I could just to keep that amazing smile on his face.

But he was only fourteen. An adult in the eyes of the law because of his genin status, but a mere child in the eyes of everyone else.

It was _sick_.

 _I was sick_.

His eyes were beautiful. Closed or opened, I didn't care. When closed, they allowed me to see the full length of his eyelashes as they dusted against his cheeks. But, honestly, I preferred them open. They were so extremely expressive. And they were quite a beautiful shade of brown, a rather normal color. But, for some reason, on him, that color seemed unique, never before seen.

When they opened this morning, they looked as beautiful and expressive as I knew they were.

And that smile... It took my breath away, just like all the others always did.

"Good morning, Asuma." His canines were sharp. They had left their own mark on my body.

He arched his back slightly as he stretched, arms going to either side of my head and legs pushing him against the bed. With a soft groan, he closed his eyes and just allowed his body to accommodate to being awoken.

"Sleep good?" He questioned once he'd finished stretching, sitting himself up to glance at me over his shoulder. My arms were still around him, but looser than before.

I hadn't. Not at all. I had spent all the night hating myself for being weak.

But I couldn't tell the boy that, could I?

With a stretch of my own, I allowed myself to lean into my bed. For the first time since I had defiled the boy, my head rested against my pillows. Even though I had been hating myself, seeing the boy smile... Well, I was in love for sure because I wasn't able to _not_ smile at him.

"With you I don't think I could have slept bad."

If he had been smiling before, he was positively beaming after I had answered him.

His legs straddled my own as he leaned down to rest against my chest, raising up his arms to use them as a sort of pillow for his chin. Our faces were only a few inches apart, but I didn't mind.

To wake up to this face every day would be a dream come true.

"You know exactly what a guy wants to hear."

The kid had unbelievably kissable lips. Soft, not overly plump yet not too thin... Besides, he was a quick learner.

"I try." I shrugged softly, then brought my right hand up to pass over his hair. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mm-hmm." He closed his eyes as he leaned into my hand, then opened them with curiosity gleaming inside, "Was anyone knocking at the door?"

Immediately my blood ran cold. But I maintained my smile, although it felt forced, and asked, "Do you hear anyone?"

He shook his head and I allowed my hand to drop to his hips, rubbing over the subtle bruise my own fingers had left... How could I have lost so much control over myself?

"Then it was most probably some pesky courier looking to give me a mission." I smirked at him, "But time with you is worth a thousand A Ranks."

The Inuzuka planted a soft kiss on my lips with this line. And I returned it without any hesitation, all of my anger and self-hate giving way to an unbelievable amount of love for him.

This kid... Made me feel all warm on the inside with just a simple smile.

I brought my left hand to cup his jaw while my right planted itself firmly on his hip, bringing him closer to me. Our kiss deepened unbelievably, and he began to breathe heavy, and I forced myself to stop.

I would not take him again. Not so soon. Not the morning after his first time.

"Not so fast, Inuzuka." I pried him off of me, but not before he managed to bite onto my lower lip and give it a playful squeeze. "You're playing a dangerous game, you know?"

The boy licked his lips slyly and smirked at me, then rested his head against my chest once more, his ear to right above my heart.

"But I really want to try and win." He looked up at me with a wink, then closed his eyes and breathed out. His cheeks had reddened from our activity, but he had, apparently, an unbelievable amount of self control this morning. "Are you hungry, Asuma?"

The shift in topic startled me slightly. But he kept a content smile on his face, even though he kept eyes closed as he listened to my heart beat.

"Is this your indirect manner of telling me to make you breakfast?"

With his eyes still closed, he smiled. "Yup."

Once more I felt the need to wrap him up in my arms, so I did just that. I brought both my arms around him and let them rest over his bare back, then lifted my head so I could kiss the top of his head.

"Just... Let's just stay like this for a little while, huh?"

I began to rub soft circles into the middle of his back as I said this, closing my eyes for the first time since I had taken him.

I was a monster. I had taken this beautiful boy and violated him in the worst way possible.

"As long as you make me an amazing breakfast once we're up, I don't mind."

He was so honest and open. It was so easy to read him and his emotions. He wore them on his sleeves and didn't seem to be ashamed of it. When he was angry, he made it clear. When he was happy, he whooped with joy. When he was pleased, he let out the most amazing moans...

I had no doubts as to why I loved him. If one were to make me tell them the reasons why, I would bore them after the hundredth reason. It hurt, though, to have done something so-

"Stop thinking so much."

That surprised me.

And when I looked at him with wide eyes, the boy merely tapped my chest with his finger, "I'm not the only one who wears their heart on their sleeves."

Then he nestled his chin against his arms once more, smiling broadly. "Did I ever get the chance to tell you how much I love you?"

For a second, I didn't react. I was much too surprised by how observational he was. But that shock melted into contentment and I soon wore a smile of my own.

"I love you too, kid." With this I hauled him up and to the side, so I was spooning him. "Now let me get some more rest. I'm not as young as I once was."

He chuckled warmly at this and nuzzled against my front, but settled himself there.

Okay... I could worry about how horrible I truly was later... For now, though, I could just enjoy having the boy that had caught my love in my arms, safe and pleased.

 **Please review and tell me what you think!**


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